Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Too Much


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And it always seems like I think about it too much
It made sense that the further I moved away,the more we would lose touch
I got family that I don't hear from,and they don't hear from me
It's like all the love was ripped away from me & my family
We have all these mediums of contact,but none of it really helps
Hate to say it,but the next time we will probably meet will be at a funeral and we won't have anyone to blame but ourselves
My head is always spinning,it's like my thoughts never stop
It feels like I have to carry all the dead weight by myself,without a helping hand it's all just gonna drop

You will probably hear from me less & less
No matter how perfect I try to paint my world,it just always end up in this beautiful mess
It's like there isn't a way to avoid all this stress
I've lost contact with almost all of my closest friends…now a days..I just feel like whose next?
I don't really think the grass in greener on the other side
It's just that sometimes anything it better than being on this side
Tired of hiding all my feelings that are probably in my best interest to hide
I barely ever talk about it anymore..but October is the month my best friend committed suicide 
It's so crazy to think he would be the same age of me
Why didn't he have anything to say to me?
Maybe I was too busy with my others friends,that I failed to see
Now that's one of the things I always have to live with..one of the biggest pains to me
I hate being here,and I hate being there..I feel like I hate being everywhere 
Most of the time I want to disappear,but care too much about the ones that care

After a while we start to see life in a different light..
It seems the news talks more about what's going wrong,than what we can do right
Part of the military but still, some of the battles at home are the hardest to fight..
What do you know about not being able to sleep at night
So far away from home,it would be at least an 8 or 9 hour flight
I just pray that if something ever goes wrong,I will make it home in time to look you in the eyes and tell you everything will be alright
I think about it too much..because I feel like some think about it too less
I don't feel like I signed up for this
I just want to hold you close & give you kiss
But I'm always at work,missing all the important moments someone dear to your heart shouldn't miss
p.s
I'm so sorry this happens so much
I hope at the end of it all,there is still us.
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